[
9/30/2004
|10:45 PM]
[ Current Music | 言承旭 - 地心引力 ]
hahah. think i have been used to dis. the tingwei-go-kap, i-go-home habit. everyday after school, at 1.30 on the dot, i would see this familiar figure, with his physics book outside my classroom door. and would always hurry me to go. so down we go, 3 flights of stairs, and past the staff room all the way to the old tree, where he would go pick his saga seeds and i would use the no-hands method to aid him. then we will take 171 and on the bus, he would persuade me to come along with him, but long ago ive made up my mind. so its kinda useless. heh.
today was real gay, or at least the people were. especially sean =P haha. but i like it. oops.
/shiwei
[
9/29/2004
|8:18 PM]
[ Current Mood |
sore ]
[ Current Music | 杜德伟 - 脱掉 ]
hehh. i cannot keep using my dad's comp if not he will get pissed off. so i'll have to make full use of every second online till my comp gets fixed.. okayy first things first. tingwei isn a flirt. okayy. =X hm, it has been 3 days since we went home together. zhong se qing you ahh he.. always go kap with "himself".. haiz. and today at kap was quite interesting. wanted to go one but due to some reasons i decided to go home from where i was. yahh. so i dunno, maybe tomorrow i'll go kap bahh. po li. but i'll isolate myself from him lahh cos i dun really know her well so yahh.
anyway pe, we ran again. heheh, i finished 5th lehh. yahh because our class started first so its still okayy. soccer was crap, even number vs odd number and all the gd players were at the other team, so we lost yahh. 0-1 but its pretty close yahh cos we went close. kevin, ronaldo and i. yahh so quite okayy.
im feeling much better le. but ill feel even better if the stupid techncian fixes my comp asap =P well greg had a talk with me ystd, yah about my attitude as u all would have guessed. respect towards seniors. yahh. i know, but i just dunno how to go about letting the seniors see the real me. and yahh greg, dun be too worried abt not being able to be your ownself. cos u really rock as a president and a buddy. you're are n2greg, the group 6 orientation 2002 buddy that i was put into. the buddy that was lame. (whoops.) and yahh rocks! and also a good president, i know u put yr whole heart and soul for the union, for the school. so do not be too worried. hahah, i know there's way more to it. but yahh cheer up.
ahh!! some of my classmates and yahh me, are crazy over alyssa chia!! or the chio actress that everyone is more familiar is, playing zhao min in the heavenly sword show. ohh mann. we spent the english lesson talking about her. and well but no dirty intentions =P oh mann i cant believe it, i switched on the tv this afternoon and the first thing i saw was her!! in the liang shan bo, zhu ying tai show! oh mann!! =P must curb my erm obsession or at least till the exams are over..
oh yahh. yesterday was mid-autumn. all night long i heard people shouting and screaming and yahh i missed the times when the friday gang gather at the park to play sparklers yahh. i think times have changed and we are too old to do so. so i was kinda lonely ystd. and i waited for so long, sick of the dial tone.. blehh. =( so qiao u were preoccupied. oh well. i dunno.
/shiwei
[
9/28/2004
|5:20 PM]
[ Current Mood |
drained ]
sometimes i really wish that all my troubles can be erased at the snap of my fingers, but yet i find myself getting into more trouble as i spend time snapping my finger. the moment i clear one, i find myself sinking into more trouble. i find myself thinking about my blunders and errors i made that landed me in this situation every night, sometimes i even cry but i really cannot do anything about it. the next day, i have to put on that mask that carries that wide smile and go to school. so today i gave up bt i still held on there. i went to play a fool in lesssons. yu guang and i guai lan-ned in mrs chai's lessons. shouting and screaming and volunteering to answer questions which in the end got scolded by zhi yi for not behaving.. as we are both councillors. who cares. hahah. bet nobody knows about dis. just replied to gregs msg. well i know where ive gone wrong, but its hard to turn back, now its just too late.
my studies are dropping but i want to improve, i bought ten year series for maths, hoping that i can scrape an a1. and it seems that everyone is sad. daphne, erik. and im in no position to say that im sad, cos whatever im feeling, im sure they will be feeling twice as worse. and seriously im drained, mentally and physically. but ive been telling myself to go on.
sometimes its just so hard being alone in a team, and when u fall nobody helps u. but u cant blame them too.
hahah okayy anyway. i went to school with natural hair, din put gatsby at all. =P for you. and tingweis having a study session with his scgs frens at kap now.
/shiwei
[
9/27/2004
|6:28 PM]
[ Current Mood |
gloomy ]
[ Current Music | JET - Are You Going To Be My Girl ]
ok lorhh. today really unlucky. the comp just crashed, gave up on me. was really fed up. kicked the cpu, punched the monitor, nothing, couldn revive it, just ended up with sorrow and agony. haiz. to add insult to injury of the appointment just now.
haiz summary to my blunders.
wallet no money. brain don't think. mouth don't talk. eyes don't see.
ok now shall elaborate.. i thought 25 bucks would be enough for 2 presents. i din know it would exceed budget, and it was so stupid to let a girl pay first. and also not even enough for neoprints. wad is this lahh. infuriated with myself. -hrmph.
brain don't think. for once, i was stunned. i din know where the escalator was, where the mrt station was. and acted like a real BASTARD who as if been put under bars for 10 years and just released, and realized singapore changed so much. so suaku lahh.
mouth don't talk. i was also cold and dao. well probably because i din know daphne well enough. but i think if i were her, i would also feel irritated lahh. what a proud fella.
den eyes don't see. i wasn wearing my specs so like as blind as a bat. i could read the roadsigns and missed daphne at first, couldn even spot her.
what a failure. so today wasn as ideal as i pictured it to be. and it was my fault. to think i actually prepared the yearbk and stuff before hand. dude, i suck.
haiz. everything just seem crashing down. and the worse thing is that they all hit at where it hurts and at the same time.
/shiwei
[
9/26/2004
|11:09 PM]
[ Current Mood |
bouncy ]
[ Current Music | Jerry Yan - 做个好情人 ]
heheh. nice to see my blog so active after 4 hours of studying. yahh. also i dun mind criticisms. yahh. its still "constructive" comments bahh. =P shits dunno why so hyper. -bounces. doing chinese compre, i forgot i had homework, with nicholas trying to arouse me. try harder d00d. =P
thanks janice for the display pic u created. ask for more! =)
wah at least today was fun, spent 6 hrs chatting with daphne, think thats a record. din know it could last so long. and xuanyi's level day poster is cool! gd jobb dude. dun be too hard on yourself too. shit so many things to say.
tomorrow's gonna be a fun day too! after sch, going to cine with daphne to get tiffany's belated present. den with tingwei to get a present for xinying. gee. haha, trying to picture tingwei giving her the present. jiayou worr!
haha. if only the exams was fun.
/shiwei
[|11:45 AM]
[ Current Mood |
hyper! ]
[ Current Music | Jolin Tsai - Dao Dai ]
spent last night revising science. especially the ecology part. wow i was thinking. the world is so picture perfect. the food chains and food webs are so perfect, that one small tinge of distruption can just cause so much harm. perfect yet delicate. and the characteristics of every animal and plant is so suited to the environment that they live in. adaptation this is. crazy me.
ahah spent the whole of this sunday morning chatting with daphne about err. guys. okay, sec 3 chssu councillors. ronald, chernwei, tze siong and what they have in common that make them shuai. but nah. nicholas is the best! =) and aphelion rocks!
okay. mugging time. science then maths.
/shiwei
[
9/25/2004
|1:38 PM]
[ Current Mood |
baffled =) ]
[ Current Music | Linkin Park - Breaking The Habit ]
i dunno whether i should go to tiffany's bdae dinner. cos i erm kinda quarelled with my parents. so today i asked again, and they said its up to me. so i was kinda happy but at same time, i din wan to go against them. mama's boy. but if i dun go, ill be indirectly affecting daphne's grades for eoy, cos we're sharing tiffany's present, and it was agreed that we would buy a belated one on monday, so blehh. im still zhuo you wei nan. i bought maths ten-year-series, hopefully it will aid me in eoy. haiz. spending this saturday alone is surely pitiful.. =(
so lemme think..
but in case if i can't go or whatsoever.
HAPPY 16th BIRTHDAY TIFFANY!
/shiwei
[|9:12 AM]
[ Current Mood |
relieved ]
[ Current Music | Alicia Keys - If I Aint Got You ]
hehh. making my second "picture" now. its way too cool. thanks huiping for teaching me, courier new can do so many things! din know that! this is the first one i created, made some weathering and blast effect to some of the words. cool man. =) hahah, makes me forget the agony i was feeling. for a while at least.
and the orange version
but she left in a huff. hmm. dun be angry =P
/shiwei
[
9/24/2004
|9:58 PM]
haiz sian. decided to post the topics tested.
science.
-matter
-atoms and molecules
-acids and alkalis
-digestion
-transport system in living organisms
-diffusion and osmosis
-sexual reproduction
-birth control and STD
-light. reflection and refraction
-effects of thermal energy
-ecology
-nutrient cycle
maths
-indices
-algebraic manipulation
-expanision and factorization
-quadratic
-simulteanueous
-linear equations
-congruency and similarity
-trigonometry
-circle properties.
well have decided to focus on these 2 subjects first. before i start on my long and tiring journey, any well wishes ? =P
/shiwei
[|8:13 PM]
the no-exemption thing is hitting me real hard. oh man. i had trouble sleeping last night, kept tossing around and finally really got to sleep at around 1. and to make matters worse, i had a nightmare. i dreamt that ms. sim was giving out the exemption slips, and she actually read out my name. so i esctatically went up and received it with two hands. to my grave horror, i saw myself getting exemption from the following subjects : EXEMPTION. oh mann den the whole world darkened and i felt the words "science" and "english" appearing. they seemed so near, but when i reached out my hand to grab them, they just faded away. and i woke up in cold sweat. it wasn't a good feeling.
i knew i wasn't taking this bad news in my stride, there's that physcological barrier for me to cross even if i thought it wasn't worth it to just think about it, instead i should study. yahh. but the thought of just makes me want to cry, let alone looking at the science textbook cover, with the stupid lion with that mane. haiz. oh well.
today was quite okayy. english was slack. as usual. oops. then erm piaed chinese work in the library, quite fast liao. after school, went proed room for a "talk" with erik. i was stupid and dao, well that's just pure acting. i was walking around, doing push-ups, and i know i pissed erik off cause its like he will think that everything he says will come out from the other ear. on the contary, i was shocked. cause i really din realize how serious my situation was. isolation from the sust seniors. okayy. shan't really elaborate. but i will change and improve. after eoys. now its just studies.
went bpp with branden and tingwei after that, my two buddies that i know i can trust, well at least till the near future. had long john silver. bought beixi's guides' cookies. and they taste good. hm should have bought more. tomorrow will be spent mugging. what else. i have to study all 4 subjects. hm mingwei and yuan chang are slacking now at st. nicks.. hm good lah.
i also feel zi bei when i go on msn.
my nick: shiwei ][ hwa chong award for the talented. || no exemption. 败类
and when i scroll down to find out whos online, ill get =(
huang pei: Hp Technology{Exempted from MA & LSS thx to teocc}(Busy-Mugging for chinese)(Buried-Under tons of hw)(Dead-From Xtreme stress)
yuan chang: ××No exams sia... shiok
haiz. luckily now lesser than yesterday.
if i just knew what the implications of my every word and action are. i wouldn't be in this pathetic state. well at least the new year's coming.
/shiwei
[
9/23/2004
|5:55 PM]
depressed. seriously demoralized. miss sim gave us the exemption slip ystd. everyone in 2d is at least exempted from one subject except for six. and im in dat six. realli. i was like still having 2 exemptions. hm. for english, zhen jie, kang jie and sean were like cursing because of that kala. exemption is supposed to be based by the percentage of where you stand in the level, thats common sense. but that fcking kala said what equality so count by class. each class only 7 exempted. so top 7 for 2d got exempted lahh. although we met criteria. what the hell lah. its so not fair. then science, teocc din change her mind, i met exemption criteria too. oh well, for this i cannot blame anyone else except for myself. 28 got exempted for science! so im like one of the 8 zibei ppl taking the science paper. i cried in school lahh. duh. really feel like a bai lei.
hahah. so im hafta mug for all 4 subjects, plus oral defence. well im happy =).. right. nvm at least my mrp almost confirmed a1, so long as oral defence dun screw up. so with the hard mugging, i should get 1.0? i dunno. do not be so complacent. in the end i will end up losing everything. just like now. yi wu suo you. i thought i could, in the end i had nothing.
well this emptiness inside of me is going to stay till the results come out. and it isn't a good feeling. had gastric. ouch. hahah to think that i was still so hyper last night.
oh well good luck for me.
/shiwei
[
9/22/2004
|8:05 PM]
uh oh
/shiwei
[|3:57 PM]
You represent... naivete.
So innocent and trusting... you can be very shy at
times, but it's only because you're not sure
how to act. You give off that "I need to
be protected vibe." Remember that not all
people are good. Being too trusting will get
you easily hurt.
What feeling do you represent?
brought to you by Quizilla
once in a blue moon that i can just pack my things and rush home when the bell rings. its so nice having to know that one do not have any extra commitments after school, just like normal primary school children, who just rush out of the gate into their parent's car and can just sleep soundly on their journey home. there is nothing on their mind, just sleep and food. how wonderful life is. haha, i know i can't possibly do this at this stage, but this is the best life has to offer, then i will gladly accept it. jacky, sengyeow and i went to eat chicken wing rice after school, so much alike to coronation's, nice recommendation by jacky. =)
i just love 2d. or at least the group that i frequent with. although 2d is called the "mugger" class, we are actually fun people. whoa like zi wo an wei.. but its really scary lahh, the way some people mug. every morning, i would walk past the 4 aphelion classes before going in to 2d. in 2a i would see daniel listening to his mp3 player and liangxun and co. crapping around. in 2b i would see dingjie hogging on the the computer, playing rom games well yinghao and co. would be at the back, talking about anything under the sun. in 2c, jianan would be reading newspapers while watchhing people playing chess. but in 2d.. i see zhi yi, holding on the the ci yu shou ce, memorising the zao jus. it somehow brought out the kiasu spirit in me, and i would ask him whens the next test and so on. zhiguang, douglas and yu guang would be talking about erm girlfriends?? okayy character analysis. zhiguang seems so contented with just his blue 7250 handphone by his side. everytime it vibrates, you can see the bright smile on his face and there he goes typing on his keypad, as if so familiar. and he can do this the whole day. haiz. obsessed with her lo... yuguang, is the vulgar yet caring friend, he has the best combination of kuai gia yet guai lan character. he's inbox erm is also full of her messages, but still cannot hold a candle to zhiguang. =) and who would forget the DOG. oops. douglas i mean, the ultimate mugger. he's kinda like the zijian in primary school, who mugs real hard at home and comes to school to play and relieve all the stress. he's the student a teacher would want for his grades but not his character. oops a little to harsh. but he's a nice person if you get to know him more. try harder next year to get into badminton team yah! and mingwei, the first impression of this boy with curly hair and socks that touch the knees would be that he's a real kuai kia. but actually he can be the opposite of things. his LAUGHTER is unique, going off like a machine gun, never failing to make us laugh. today during maths lesson, he did it again. and it got kangjie and i off our feets. another studies pro. keep up the good work mann. and kangjie.. hmm. the "burnt" canoeing pro, who talks about how popular he is with 2o8. AND SHE IS NOT ER. (he reads this blog so i have to put good stuff) kangjie is one good companion that would go through thick and thin with you.. (whoa..) a good runner and basically a lame guy. but the joke about the 5 bucks rox. =) and who can forget
me? our chairman, yuan chang, who can moan and groan when you touch his back. ouch, bad injury. hes the 100m school champ, pole vault bronze medalist and i don't believe he doesn't have a girlfriend. hehe crazy me, fancy me doing a appraisal when everyone else is mugging away. seems like im getting ready for the
exams holidays liao. wheee
no more study groups lo.. but nvm. i know you will do equally well =) jiayou. tiifany's throwing a birthday dinner on saturday, and i just realized i need to get a present. i mean duh?! i think i should be going if all goes well. even if i can't, i will still get the present. tomorrow im getting back my cpk, not really hopeful but i hope i can scrape through at least an a1.
/shiwei
[
9/21/2004
|7:25 PM]
mixed feelings. its just like eating those warheads sweets. the first impression your tongue gets when it is placed into your mouth is sour. awfully sour. so sour that you want to just throw the sweet away. (i did that quite a number of times) but when u peservere, u will gradually find the aftertaste a little sweet. and u will like it. somehow the sweet-and-sour effect balances so well, its like having the best of two worlds.
but for me. its like coming back to sq one as it goes like a viscous cycle. everytime i think of a, i get so frustrated and disappointed, maybe even feel like banging my head against the wall. but i just cannot do anything. the list is out, i can't change it, the only thing i can do is to get a1 overall. and so i think of b, i feel quite relieved but the future isn't fixed or something, so what if the conditions favour you? the acts of some people backstabbing you can just turn the tables. so its back to square one as i try to study the valencies of the elements.
today morning duty, everyone was attituding branden because he just had to come back on the first day of the exams to take the fucking english paper and go home and do whatever he wants till oral defence. wtf. after school mrs chai called me to go find her, so erm we talked about exemption. and my heart sank when i found out i wasn exempted. 7 people from my class were exempted and i was 8th. wad the hell.. my op and cp was okayy. all because of 2-3 marks for my ca!! arghh! so now science. dunno lahh. teocc asked me to answer questions, quite elated. lol. maybe its wishful thinking of my part but well, at least there's that glimmer of hope !! =) went running with tingwei after school. hehe. tingwei's stride is awful and soon he was panting and had to stop, of all places near mgs busstop. hmm. den that memorable sprint. lolx. i let him run first, so niao. =P oh well, at least we duplicated the key and i slipped while going the stairs. i seriously have to start mugging NOW.. or well maybe later after i finish the new template. heheh
/shiwei
[
9/20/2004
|10:06 PM]
hehh. quite an unfruitful day. janice wanted to go kap and study for chem so i tagged along. in the end i was like switching textbooks every 10 mins, i couldn concentrate. kap was just too lively and noisy for mugging. in the end, i just wrote an apology letter. and yahh, i was po po ma ma again at first.. haiz. in the end, retribution, spilled coke float onto my khaki shorts, white colour somemore, looks like err.. so quickly hobbled to the toilet, think i heard chuckling and giggling along the way. heck. so qiao, u-glen came in too. he saw what happened, instead of helping, he laughed his head off lorh. anw, in the end it kinda dried and wasn so prominent =P thanks janice for the gift! have motivation le.
troubles. confusion coming from the two major aspects of my life. academics and union. academics, i'm like so different from the other people. people like branden and stanley can slack and think of other stuff, branden was exempted from all subjects except eng. stanley for ALL. what the hell. and me? i screwed up science exemption and its like 0.000000001% that i can be exempted. and the next subject is english, that's also kinda 50-50 possibility. so hmm. that's how i finish lower secondary.
union. i don't even know whether i can still wear the rectangular badge again next year. and just heard from greg that the structure has been confirmed. why izzit that hcjc always finalize things? i seriously dunno what would happen to me in the future. am i still allowed to be in slc ot? the euphoria that i felt towards union just disappeared just like that. it's just like a piece of glass, so beautiful yet so fragile. the moon's getting full =)
worries. but what can me, a lowly character do?
/shiwei
[
9/19/2004
|4:02 PM]
i've realized i've been irritating people because of my "inactiveness" on messenger conversations. partly due to my recent addiction to grand theft auto: vice city. its such a cool game man. and sometimes i am really away/not at home. ok shall curb my craving for this game. an example of one irritated person would be erik widjaja.
heres a short excerpt:
.--------------------------------------------------------------------.
| Session Start: Sunday, September 19, 2004 |
| Participants: |
| ...g i have at hand and be with you. (leongshi_wei@hotmail.com) |
| ...Finally met a real dao king lolz...) (erikwidjaja@gmail.com) |
.--------------------------------------------------------------------.
[11:08:45 AM] Angelman: Bi: lsw u there?
[11:20:54 AM] Angelman: Bi: oi
[11:20:55 AM] Angelman: Bi: u there?
[11:21:19 AM] Angelman: Bi: real dao lah
[11:21:30 AM] Angelman: Bi: but nvm answer my this question (reply
through email)
[11:21:51 AM] Angelman: Bi: u free on tues? lemme do 1 last course abt
pep talking
[11:23:00 AM] * Angelman: Bitching about my worries does help i guess,
lets do have more of such sessions :P(Finally met a real
dao king lolz...) is now Away (idle)
[11:23:15 AM] * Angelman: Bitching about my worries does help i guess,
lets do have more of such sessions :P(Finally met a real
dao king lolz...) is now Online
oops. hes so pissed that he even tried to bet with kai xiong whether i dao anot. hmm.. sometimes i really too guo fen le..
sorry erik, lester etc. especially huiping. wei qu ni le =P eh, maybe you shudn't wait for me, go watch with your friends or something liddat. i feel bad having to reject every time-slot u come up with, not only because of my cranky parents but because our schedules realli clash. but there isn any hidden meaning behind this.
so i guess i'll spend the rest of the day mugging for chinese. WAS looking forward to tomorrow, but i guess it isn possible.
/shiwei
[
9/18/2004
|7:58 PM]
This Love - Maroon5
I was so high I did not recognize
The fire burning in her eyes
The chaos that controlled my mind
Whispered goodbye and she got on a plane
Never to return again
But always in my heart
Oh…
chorus:
This love has taken its toll on me
She said Goodbye too many times before
Her heart is breaking in front of me
I have no choice ‘cause I won't say goodbye anymore
I tried my best to feed her appetite
Keep her coming every night
So hard to keep her satisfied
Oh, kept playing love like it was just a game
Pretending to feel the same
Then turn around and leave again
Repeat Chorus
Oh…
I'll fix these broken things
Repair your broken wings
And make sure everything's alright
(It’s alright, it’s alright)
My pressure on your hips
Sinking my fingertips
Into every inch of you
Cause I know that's what you want me to do
This love has taken its toll on me
She said Goodbye too many times before
And her heart is breaking in front of me
And I have no choice ‘cause I won't say goodbye anymore
This love has taken its toll on me
She said Goodbye too many times before
And my heart is breaking in front of me
She said Goodbye too many times before
Repeat Chorus 2x
well i've rotten this saturday away. kinda dislike the 5 day policy, makes one lazier and in this society theres no such thing as there will be one day that will be specially be made as a rest day. hmm. wondering how ncc trainings would re-scheduled, esp pds.
i missed the meeting with mr hon due to training, which the thought of kinda enraged me. dat guy asked me to go for training, because its more impt, in the end he disappeared and went for the meeting instead. i dunno whether i would respect or even trust him, to think i cancelled another important appointment just to listen to him. that bastard.
oh well. the meeting was for the new structure for the chssu and hcjcsc. erik told me that i would have to return to aphelion council and get into exco to go into junior council, which is like practically impossible. the relationship that developed between ms pek and i soured when i joined sust, so much that im isolated lahh. so to go be accepted by ms pek is a hard thing, needless to say vie with yuan chang, zhen jie and zhiguang for exco. so people, u might see me in a triangular badge next year. and i read sua yu's blog, kinda pissed me off. at least the seniors were concerned about the two of us.
quotes sua yu "And that HCJC Council Mentor, when asked what will happen if talented Secondary 3 students are eligible for councillorship, but cannot run for it due to the age limit, his answer, "Then wait for Secondary 4!" " hm. so i have to wait for sec 4 then. hahah then maybe forget it. the structure is stupid lahh. then why u groom us when the sec 2's union careers are so bleak. why do orientation 2005 and 11th slc be organized by our batch when we do not even know whether we could still be in union next year. so i guess the chances of me getting kicked out of 11th slc ot is quite high, considering the
hostility hospitality they treat me. so much for looking forward to a new term of office.
sorry that i've done so much harm to you. while i was playing, you were there listening to your friends' comments and sarcastic remarks. i will make it up to you.
cause im never gonna let you go.
/shiwei
[|12:31 PM]
=)
/shiwei
[|11:56 AM]
went to school with a heavy heart. test not learnt. and somemore i had to see teocc.. 3 days in a row le. confirmed cannot have exemption. oh well. i would stop brooding over it and just do my best. confident of getting 1.0 for end of year. and i will do it.
yahh and i heard from zhiguang i will be running for my class in x-country. cool mann. i know i'll pull the class down but i'll do my best mann. probably i'll go get new running shoes. and train up mental. dunno why theres ncc training today, thought all ep3s should be suspended. oh well, i know lots of people will pon, but lujie kinda "pycho" me to go so i went, in the end he disappeared and went for mr hon's talk instead. bastard. ask me to go for training, yet went for something else. good lahh. kena niaoed by mr gan yet again, even an onlooker like my platoonmates know that his tone was sacarstic, yet alone me. "you not going for the talk, you don't want to be in sust ah?" hahah. stupid structure.
training was in the end 1 1/2 hrs long?! which one hr was wasted on mr liew's talk with the part b's about the problems faced. wad de. then the last 1/2 and hr was uniform check and punishment. did 103. on a slippery floor, endure! i felt so zi bei, 6 mistakes in uniform check. the worst. and sergeant had to be so lame "DO NOT TREAT THIS AS A PUNISHMENT, TREAT THIS AS AN EXERCISE!" -.- and caused jeremy to have an asthma attack again. kudos to him for summoning his courage to give suggestions to mr liew and for enduring the pumpings. it wasn easy for him as he was shy and hardly speak, plus he had asthma. after training played soccer with clt weizong and jiacheng. played wearing slippers, kinda got in the way, but i scored 1 goal, and created one more for stanley. not bad lahh..
then went to nanyang for the mid-autumn festival. got so po ma, i dare not walk in myself so i had to ask tiffany to walk me in.. oops. so we went to the quadrangle to meet janice, so many pple. all looking at me, couldn take it, was like "suffocating". luckily the basketball court was still okayy. so janice ate her bian dang while we stoned there watching daphne and jaime play badminton. then xinying came. then we played volleyball which was rather cool, my skills are kinda rusty so my aiming was kinda off. needs zeroing. then played basketball, a match where i couldn see the net. air-balls all the way. and tiffany was so meng. had to let her have the ball =P then the chinese teacher came and chased us all out. so the fun ended... not quite. we went to dark alley beside nygh to play with sparklers and stuff. kinda cool and started sharing ghost stories, which freaked the two xinyings. hope deres nothing 'additional' in the photos that was taken. oh well. it was quite a nice night lahh..
so jiayou to u guys in eoy. and 2d for x-country !! =)
/shiwei
[
9/16/2004
|10:59 PM]
my day was wasted because of mr gan again. asked me to wait for him at union room at 2.40 cause he wanted to have an inspection, in the end i waited till 3.30, he smsed me and said he was too busy to come check. i dunno lahh, is he deliberately fooling me or what? i was stoning in union room lahh, got so bored and went around a tour of the school, played soccer using a table-tennis ball left behind, flipped through the x-slc database for
chio bus friends, listened to qi li xiang for dunno how many times. in the end it was all wasted. so in the end i waited for ting wei to come back from science ctr.
the talk with teocc was scary but better than usual. at least she din blast me like she normally did when i committed those offences. but i felt worse than usual because of this. i respect her alot, yet i could not live up to her expectations. her impression of me was good one, but now because of blunders here and there, its going down the drain, whether its intentional or accidental. today, it happened again, before going union rm, i checked with douglas whether there was a sunflower meeting, he said no so i left. 3pm, zhen jie called me and said there WAS. i was like "aw god." i've appeared to be more irresponsible. so unlucky lahh. and all the funny excuses came out on why my group members din tell me. wad number busy, what cut off. i dunno lahh, whether they are actually helping me or backstab.
after the talk with mrs teo, i went to see ms sim, and she too wanted to talk to me. arghh! same topic as the talk with mrs teo and mrs chai, about the commitments and prioritizing. and they say almost the same words. haiz. wad can i do. but i've let the teachers down. esp mrs. teo. haiz. i suck big time. writing an apology letter to her. hope she understands my plight and would forgive me.
oh well another conflict, training or maf? i was stumped when i heard there was training tomorrow, thought trngs were suspended. and i was asked to go for nanyang's mid-autumn fest celebrations and im janice's brother! lol. kinda like sneaking in. in the end i decided training, den pia to ny. so the pre-celebrations programme we discussed had to be cancelled... haiz.
why do conflicts occur at times when you don't want them too occur, but when you life is too smooth-sailing and it gets boring, it gets even more boring when conflicts get resolved easily.
im sorry for what i've done
/shiwei
[
9/15/2004
|11:52 PM]
dilemma. these few days are so screwed up and confusing.
i've decided not to be so zi bei-ish and to put everything that happened yesterday at back of my mind. "if you wanna bottle it, make sure u digest it" so during sust meeting, i again got niaoed by mr gan, the first item on the agenda. Changes to orientation, dunno wad i only give problems to him and dunno wad, den somemore slammed the table. everyone looking at me, i dunno what to do or say, and i could just stare blankly into space and give those spastic smile. fuck. i presented two items, one on orientation and another on union rm. surprised everyone as well as myself that i spoke quite well and din stammer, could see all the shocked faces. basket.
and the level day posters i created, i know i not good at photoshop, but at least i tried. and ruixiong gave them 4 letters. F-A-I-L, maybe a G-O-O-D would be good =P sust meeting ended at 6.30 and the union tee-shirt money is settled.
but mrs teo wants to see me.. haiz. i got into trouble with her again. and she says she is considering striking me off the exemption list. look at how devastating the effect is when the litte errors u commit accumulate to. if i dun get exemption for science, i will be the saddest guy ever. i passed every criteria lorhh. only lacked the attitude. praying real hard now.
/shiwei
[
9/14/2004
|9:56 PM]
haiz. what a day for me. assembly saw zhen jie being the chairman, and kukie + yu jay being the panelists. and topic was on the special programmes offered next year. still dunno what to choose. stuck between humanities and sciences, i know im realistic, but yeah, short-term benefits. and its not i cant see things. if you were in my shoes, you will take these two too. so stop insulting me, i feel so awkward. u can go pursue your goals for all i care, just all the best. well i dunno, it seems like getting a msg from 1.0 is kinda easy because of the maxed-out ace.
and science lesson was interesting! teocc was teaching sexual reproduction! woohoo. another lesson tomorrow, bet the whole class will be itching for more. lol.
okayy today was the moving of union room to c305. i can sacrifice anything just to see the moving process going on smoothly. so im sorry if i cancelled all the appointments. okayy, continued from last last post, i was in charge of re-allocation, cos basically i din want daryl to do too much, he has done alot for me. so chill. so its also a chance for me to prove myself to mr gan, sust and erm myself, keep niaoing me about "nvm its not your fault, its daryl's". i heard that u are bu shuang with the 2 qms, well when the hell are u shuang in the first place? ok i visualized what would happen the night before. and also thought of ways to speed things up, like goin to ntuc to take trollies. but in the end the plan was scraped. ok. erm, 1.30, and tingwei was already outside my classroom waiting for me. so we went admin and drew the key, and i went to take a look. i thought it was rather big and sufficient, or rather prayed hard that it was. then chehao called me, for the first time, he's so n2. oops. so we got two trollies, one from wushu and the other from estate office. so we began to move the things. first up was banners. practically threw them down from 2nd floor, it was fun!! then all the boxes and stuff. -fast forward the moving process- we stopped moving at around 5.
here comes the part. i was confronted by erik. so he began to scold me, scolded me about the last-minuteness. mostly repetitions from ystd nite. he called me twice while i was mugging away. i was very fed up. huh. not the first time. i felt like just slammin the phone down, and what he said isn goin into my brain, instead its all going out through the other ear. but after remembering how much he has helped me, i just continued to listen. wad 72 hrs crap. but there are always last-min stuff. and today he got really cranky, say wad gimme his badge, let me be proed chairman. and he scolded me in front of greg and co. i was like ok lorhh.
den greg added that the moving was really too good. i was realli demoralized lahh, pissed off. not with him, not with erik, but myself. i screwed up again. im a total failure. huh. bad quartermaster, so many pple bu shuang qms. bad junior, hafta let seniors nag and nag. and bad friend. bad me.
i was really angry, and straight after the "talk" i ran to the toilet and just took out my badge and flunked it on the floor. sometimes i realli want to quit, maybe im just not cut out to even be in sust. i want to learn, but when its time for me to produce the results, i just screw it all up. whats the point. what people see is the results, never the process. all the crap about, it doesn matter if u fail, its the lesson that u learn.
im not realli blaming erik. i know he has his own troubles. he has given sust so much help. all the way from founders day till now, hes the most involved-in-sust chairman and i realli appreciate that, just that i dunno how to show. his council mentors and teachers are obvious unhappy dat he helps sust so much. and he has to answer to them. look at chern wei, he doesn even give a damnn. today no aphelion council people came, wad is this. all attitude ah. xuanyi, nicholas all disappeared to thin air? huh? say wanna help, in the end where are you guys? huh, pals indeed. councillors of huazhong indeed. but i was realli angry so i answered yes when he asked me whether i hated him. im sure it hurt alot to him.
so i had to really be alone, so i went to sit at the soccer court, and started reflecting. yah at the same time crying in silence. den yuanjun and lujie came along. and talked to me. really needed that. thanks so much, my two most favourite sergeants. i will remember this.
Yuan Jun: if you want to bottle things, make sure you swallow dem and digest. dun think of it.
yeahh i hope it can happen. but this matter is kinda ongoing. so i have no choice.
so i guess i just have to keep trying.
/shiwei
[
9/13/2004
|10:44 PM]
im being too blunt in my blog. its really unlike me. for those who have known me to be so straightforward and say what i really feel without caring for others, even if it means piercing through his heart or something. just had a little chat with beixi, and realized she has become more cheerful and i found what she said real true, and i will change my attitude, k?
ok previous post was just my feelings about being left out in union. just my feelings. it may not be true. many people have been coming to me about clarifying things on what i stated on my blog to be not as what they actually said. but its the same idea. i dunno. its so contradicting sometimes, i want a blog that is really thoughts/reflections of my life in black and white, yet it is open to public and you will offend people, so whats the point if you have to hide?
well just hope that the moving will be a gd one.
/shiwei
[
9/12/2004
|9:36 PM]
i can't take it anymore. i am NOT happy working in sust. being a quartermaster, it is tough. i agree with daryl, the other time he talked to me about it after bsd.
Daryl: Being a quartermaster or in logistics, u have to be prepared not to be recognized for what you have done. i remember in slc, i was the one who cleared the recycling bins of the food, but nobody knows that, they take it for granted. doing ths job, when you do the task, people do not see u doing, they think you din do it and condemn u from den.
this is so true. i was never given a chance since i fell after slc. i let daryl do the qm job alone and i slacked off. so i wanted to rise again, i took union room re-allocation. for the last few weeks, tingwei and i have been staying back in union room, packing the stuff and even used the youth day holiday in union room. it is tiring and i don want to trouble the others so i din tell dem. so they began to took things for granted. and blamed me for being slow. HELLO?
another thing is mr gan, keeps niaoing the 2 qms. and he just did it again yesterday.
Mr Gan: I don't know why every year the quartermasters keep srewing up and failing to do their task well. last year it was zilun, this year it was daryl. then he turned to me and said "shiwei u only sec two, still young, nvm" it was fucking sacarstic lahh. was damn pissed off, wanted to just slam the door and leave his flat. my face was quite black from that moment, i tried to hide my attitude-ness. really. i dun see the point in volunteering to get his present and i din even get a personal thanks for that. thanks mr gan.
i wasn at alll happy working up there. i may want to quit. i need someone to talk to. nicholas isn online, so i tried her, and she said she had to go. okk nvm. i will just bottle it up.
go ahead, mock at me. u raised me up and just sent me back to hell.
/shiwei
[|1:22 AM]
these 2 days really quite similar. leaving the house early and coming back at midnight. went union room in the morning to pack the remaining stuff with daryl, very late liao. even ncc moved le, and apparently got lots of space. arghh. win liao lahh. nvm shall negotiate with sergeant jason.. when we finished it was barely two, and daryl went home to change. so the only thing i could do was to go for training... but no pe-shirt nor khaki shorts. so i borrowed unit tee from daniel, and khaki shorts for zhiyi, i wasn even prepared to go for this training. branden was having stomachache, headache and was shouting out for help in the union room, haiz dun get yourself involved in too much politics lahh. see things as it is, dun think so much. see lahh, your health is affected liao.
training turned out to be self-training, and i was supposed to take charge. in the end, i was dragged for a talk with lujie and some others. in the talk, i didn want to take sides because i wanted to talk for and against the two sides. branden was very blunt and scolded f*** 7 times. and damnit urm 15 times. ok. after the end of this talk, i want to declare that i, leong shi wei do not want to see the part as a political warfare and would strive to be enthu in trainings. hm. after training, we had games. it was a heated affair. when people played rough, you can see branden hooking peoples ankle, den later whacking peoples shin, den the knee, wads next =) ? so people got bu shuang and more played rough, zhamming the ball aimlessly. i've got a blister which burst and bled partly cos i played barefooted and got hit by seng yeow when i blocked his ball. i know it wasn his fault but i got quite fed up because of the pain. so i deliberately went to slide tackle ding jie, instead of getting the ball, i took the person, it wasn a gd feeling to play dirty. and i've made more enemies. my foot was bleeding more by then and i had troubles walking, so i called it a day and met lujie to go to mr gan's house for the farewell dinner.
took 157 together with tingfeng, realized that tingfeng stayed 2 blocks away from mr gan. and sengyeow smsed me to apologize. i was touched and ashamed of myself, so i smsed dingjie and sengyeow to apologize too. stupid me. why can't i just tolerate. well i dunno, it was not only because of this incident that got me to tackle dj, the tension was accumulated. i dun wish to elaborate and make more enemies. but one thing's for sure, i'm not comfortable with sengyeow and ding jie and shall stay away from them if possible.
when lujie and i reached mr gan's house, 7 sust ppl were already. den came greg, sin hwee etc. and the last to reach was daryl. hmm, dunno why so late =P... erik was the cook, and bingqian and greg were his assistants and the food was gd. esp the tofu and the meet dish. i presonally liked it alot. then there were alot of food left over so we decided to play zhong ji mi ma to finish it. 7 rounds, i zhong 2 times!! argh. daryl too. eric, yida and kai han got the remaining 3. the baked beans + potato
sucked. i wanted to vomit.
this somehow marked the end of sust 2004. cos once its exams, its kinda like the sec 2s who carry on, with level day and orientation. so its kinda sad. we gave mr gan the milk bottle and left his house, cos the family needed a rest. and we occupied the whole lift, luckily it didn break down. i felt left out, its like everytime there is a sust thingie, im always alone. the walk back to boon lay mrt too. it was kaihan,daryl and eric in front singing qi li xiang, followed by greg, ruixiong, sua yu and bing qian singing some chidlren songs, den yida and sinhwee were discussing about the future of singapore's education, den lujie and yuan jun talking about the final 5 for orienteering competition, at last it was me, limping away, thinking of nicholas. oops. =X i am not at all happy.
but nvm, daryl told me a secret that i've gotta keep. so bribe me people.. ^evil grin
/shiwei
[|12:28 AM]
the feast!
/shiwei
[
9/10/2004
|11:43 PM]
me and daryl in one of the props in bsd.. some kind of generation thingie.
/shiwei
[|11:42 PM]
the broken cup from ny fpp'04.. =( i will still keep it though. it means so much to me =)
/shiwei
[|11:41 PM]
today was the 2nd and final (thank god!) day for the Singapore Anti-Narcotics Association Badge Scmeme Course. and the test was held today
the sana test is damn easy. completed it in 15 mins, with 30 mins remaining. although i din mug as hard as i appeared to, it was common sense.. unlike the last geog paper, this common sense is realli common sense. quotes one question "Heroin is not dangerous to our health, true or false?" err... ^pauses to think.. ok lorhh. den i knew the trick the sirs will play, first they will be damn fierce den they will ask who fail go to the back. cos chs pple know, we played along and raised up our hands. we were all laughing and were screamed at. but we still looked at one another with those sheepish grin on our face =) we rock mann. and in the end all will pass. duh?! the course was not that bad lahh, come to think of it, the ending part was the best where the instructors did the self-intro and stuff.
and kwok sheng, nice acting skills... being a dead soldier.
after that went west mall with daniel, branden and kwok sheng, meeting janice and xinying to buy presents for bsd later. i had to also get mr gan's present. and ks and daniel were like following us everywhere!! shoO! and i found the perfect gift, a huge milk bottle with a pooh plushie inside it. blue in color. damn cute and bought it. we also bought those keyboard rest pads for charmaine, carolyn and daphne. hope they like them. well, im broke for this half of the month. nvm lahh, at least for a good cost.
got kinda sad and moody during dinner, spoilt the fun and dampened the atmosphere.. sorry. cos someone realli want to kill me le.. so many things unsettled. procrastinating... haiz.
bsd was not bad lahh, besides slc ot, nick and farhanis went, samuel and his gang went too, saw some batchten people and bits and pieces of friends that i know or recognize. the plot was complicating, nick and i had to constantly turn back to ask ruocheng about the plot and characters cos she had bsd for her lit text. well at least i recognize the person acting as art. heheh. you rock man, so shuai. i was very tired and slept on nick's shoulder during the intermission. thanks nicholas. you rock. =) and do not be sad lahh. the moment i got home, u came to tell me all your problems. i'm sure it can't be worse than mine, actually your's is nothing lahh. =) chill out yahh.
bsd ended and the ot stayed around to talk, and wait for the two. in the end, everybody was tired and went their separate ways. wanted to go home with daryl and i asked him what bus he was taking. he said that he hadn't decided, so we waited at the busstop. soon, it was the 2 of us left. then he said he wanted to take 852. win liao, and 852 came. so i was the onli one left at ny bus stop, and it was creepy, not a good feeling.
i reached home peace and sound and realli wanna beat daryl up tomorrow.
/shiwei
[
9/09/2004
|9:58 PM]
heres one cute army song that's really singlish and vulgarities that are censored sloppily. u can actually hear the actual word. so its like f "toot" k.
Knock It Down
/shiwei
[|9:39 PM]
haiz this few days i've been wearing out quite easily. its like 9.40 and im half dead?! :X man. wads has gotten into me?? nvm im looking forward to sat. cos i dun hav anything on in the morning. sleep till noon den wake up go training. yeahh. shitz this holidays is slackin all the way for me lahh, haven touched holiday homework, haven't touched chinese. going to die, plus so many stuff haven settle.
see lahh. procrastination. that killed me lahh, basically for this year. well gonna start afresh next year. yeahh mann =) whoa like so qing song liddat.
union room allocation - ncc's moving 2mr and we're like err. having finish packing?! die lorr. hafta pia lahh. den union tee shirt, cits say wanna find me, in the end whole week never come find me. hafta wait till i find them.. ok lorhh, u guys win liao. now needa tao yao bao. 126 bucks lehh. plus bsd ticket.. charmaine's and carol's present.. plus xinying's bday present plus mr gan's present.
IM BROKE
arghh. shall now return to mug for 2mrs sana test. crap. stupid course lahh. just get badge and zhao.
/shiwei
[
9/08/2004
|11:04 PM]
its late. and im tired. 2mr have to wake up at 6 for sana course. but motivated by someone =) to UPDATEE!! arghh okayy. my "hard work" for the past few nights have been paid off. today was the official Secondary one orientation first meeting, and im the organizing secretary.. (clap pls..) normally first meetings are stupid, introduce ot and stuff, and this one is too. i got so lame i introduced every post and asked everyone to clapped. and sorry people who ironed their school uniform, took a bus all the way from the other side of singapore all the way down just to hear me do a stupid introduction. my speech improved quite alot, i could finish a sentence without stumbling quite easy. all thanks to erik, the 2h i spent with him alone in union room worked wonders!
okayy orientation is the first event im in charge, and oh boy, im not going to flop. i mean it. i trust my organizing team, we can pack a punch. motivated and dedicated. lets rockk this orientation!! woohoo. oops come back to reality ^shrugs.. i would like to thank the two advisors, nicholas and yida for putting so much effort. example, i spelt the word "fourth" wrongly without a "u" and yida called, smsed and emailed me about this mistake. thanks so much. and i will not let u guys down.
ahh life seems so free without politics!! ncc politics is just a blown up thing. dun get too paranoid or you will see things different. something dat is so simple can be blown till its like a war... and people get angry and start scolding each other.
these few days damn busy. no more time for movies le. sorry ahh. =) but i'll go catch the movie with you. if u want that is..
good luck all for end-of-year.
lets start afresh shall we.
/shiwei
[
9/05/2004
|11:48 PM]
laming around at the bus-stop waiting for 66.. never mind xuanyi's prominent action =\
/shiwei
[|11:31 PM]
whoa jared muscle sia.. (he did 11 in the end)
/shiwei
[|11:30 PM]
CHSNCC Part B'04 rox!
/shiwei
[
9/04/2004
|10:35 PM]
wheee part outing today. in the end turned out to be kinda like pds outing. lemme list down the people who went, getting kinda lame. sengyeow, tingfeng, zhixing, jared, shiwei, stanley, xuanyi, shuliang, zhiyi, kwok sheng, daniel, guanchiang, benphua, yuhan, branden, hewlett and shuoxian. wahlao, me kena niaoed by wearing board shots. "when i say shiwei, u say poser!" ok lorhh... so the 20 of us "raided" one small 66 buses, and lamed around. then the peeps played the staring game, and the target was... me.. so they all stared, glared at me throughout, seng yeow was the most zai but cannot tahan and fell asleep =P
reached jurong east and found the huge tentage for the queue. had to go through some crap security check and dunno who joked that he brought condoms and had to dispose of them first.. hm. the open house was okayy lahh, just that deyi sec sch's pds
SUCKS
damn them lahh, throw ncc's face away. fuck off lorhh. don't understand why chinese high was never asked to perform.
one highlight of the this outing was the chin-up comp part. everybody menged lorhhh, pbs all around. den the sit-up was also not bad, everyone got a.. duh. we were even told some sec 3 chs peep did 61 in 1 min. win liao...
then we went to play "real-life" counterstrike. chao lame, which was like erm u cant shoot the opponent, all u need to do is to capture the flags?? errr..
we all went to area a for the live-shooting, only to find out dat waiting time was 2 hours?!! so we went to the obstacle course. chao lame and easy. ended up kena bitched by some crescent ncc peeps.. den stanley and i rebuked back.. chao stupid.
dunno why, once i got home i kept talking to my parents bout the army. deres a sense of patriotism dat i never felt before. i bought a cool army shirt, one hp pouch and swiss army knife and cop-ed many posters.. probably its just me trying to cover up the fear of going to ns. the open house is a propoganda, and army is a thing every boy will grow up to face but still we're happy bout it.. oh well. hope i get into a slack section..
/shiwei
[
9/03/2004
|11:08 PM]
last day of term 3. the last checkpoint before we inch nearer and nearer to the final battle. i know term 3 would be a screwed up term for me. and yahh. msg an all time high of 3.2, with the error of english being c6, which should be, calculated by xy, a1. so its 2.8. and just realized dat the system for streaming would be different. dunno wad, bicultural, sci and maths and dunno wad humanities. haiz. i wanna go sci and maths of course, these are my forte. but it isn showing in the report cards.. intangible vs the tangibles.. hope if realli cannot, appeal. if not go humans lorhh, which i will die more. im gonna pia for end-of-year. must reach the target of 2.0. wells.
theres no training cos the sec 3s went for the army open house, so went to venezia with xuanyi and err.. mrs chai. talked about the problems i faced, the
food talk was nice and meaningful and i hoped for another one soon. and i was quite sure of my aim now. time to drop some commitments and i decided on pds. sorry guys. sorry guirong.
/shiwei
[
9/01/2004
|10:56 PM]
union room... in a mess!!!
/shiwei
[|10:48 PM]
phew. union room cleaning sure is tiring! well at least we cleaned the room, and it looks presentable for the spot check. however theres still a long way to go before all the things are cleared and can be moved over... sianz.
/shiwei
