[
3/30/2005
|11:46 PM]
[ Current Mood | argh? ]
[ Current Music | Hoobastank - The Reason ]
task. task. task. task. task. task. task. task. task. task. task.
ti..
this is the proportion of the number of tasks to the amount of time i have. woots-
hurhur stupid lo. i'm now doing the st.nicks ppt and video for monday's presentation, another chance for me to prove myself! -tells myself not to stutter ! -
hahah okayy lemme finish this and i will sleep !
YOU TOO OKAYY! -waves-
/shiwei
[|12:46 AM]
[ Current Mood | ]
[ Current Music | ]
somebody tell me why am i still here! after i chased her off, and said that we should be sleeping. i'm back here, finishing the designs. and i'm seriously dead beat. this kind of slping hours have been on for the last four weeks and i'm seriously not benefiting from this. but what can i do?
all i wish for is for her to have enough rest. =D
anyway pe today was stupid, exercise on the terraces? then we ran 1km, heheh finished 5th =P behind chiajone, yuguang, stanley and hanlin. then we tried 200m? left knee hurt. =x napfa next week! pretty optimistic about it! -bounces-
lessons were okayy and smooth-going, but try having two practicals especially when u only had like 3 hours of sleep? was so scared that i would spill the concentrated sulphuric acid on my hand? hahah oh am glad the day has ended. hoping for the weekends to come earlier! oh maybe not, next week's worse!
hang in there. i'm with you.
/shiwei
[
3/28/2005
|11:01 PM]
[ Current Mood | optimistic ]
[ Current Music | Robbie Williams - Old Before I Die ]
Robbie Williams - Old Before I Die
She's taking me places,
I should never have been
She's showing me faces,
I should never have seen
Well these are strange days,
We're living in today
C'est la vie I say
I hope I'm old, before I die
I hope I'll live to relive
The days gone by
I hope I'm old before I die
Well tonight I'm gonna
Live for today
So come along for the ride
I hope I'm old before I die
She's not feeling stable
She's unable to breathe
Her heart's beating faster
So I'll ask her to leave
These are strange days,
We're living in today
Am I straight or gay?
I hope I'm old, before I die
I hope I'll live to see the day
The Pope gets high
I hope I'm old, I hope I'm old,
Before I die
Well tonight I'm gonna
Live for today
So come along for the ride
I hope I'm old before I die
Well these are strange days,
We're living in today
C'est la vie, I say, I say, I say
I hope I'm old (I hope I'm old)
Before I die
I hope I'll live to relive
The days gone by
I hope I'm old before I die
Well tonight I'm gonna
Live for today
So come along for the ride
I hope I'm old before I die
I hope I'm old
Before, old before I die
Old before, old before I die
Die, die, die
Old before, old before I die
Die, die, die
hahah feels so great not in boarding school! xD i know lots of people will miss me if i go in, so being the nice guy, i decided to opt out! argh layer one. oh well, i heard that most of them slept at 3 last night cause they played and gayed around. oh well, i kinda regretted. imagine ! chiajone, kangjie, zhiguang and yuguang ! -drools- hahah oh well.
my grandma had a fall earlier this evening, she just lost her balance and fell in her room. all of us got a shock, i dare not think of what would happened if we lost her, i don't want anymore bad things to happen, especially when there's already so much problems for me to handle. luckily, she landed on her butt and needed some help to lift her up. -heaves a sigh of relief-
i was thinking, what if one day you wake up and you found out that all your greatest fears came through? gosh, i dare not sink into my thoughts any further, it won't happen !
grr i was piaing homework last night again as usual. and i hate myself, i hate my bad habit. procrastination. i had all the time in the world to finish my homework during the easter holidays, but no! i played, i slacked, i went out. hahah oh well i'm thinking positive now ! at least i made full use of the time last night! i thought one DYING girl how to do her persuasive, gave a few ideas to a few others, finished my homework, did book reviews. yeah mann. oh and not to mention finished reading flowers for algernon!
besides the making love everyday with fay part, i liked the story! it's so hard-warming yet saddening at the same time. and as i closed the book, i would like to ask. is it the best being ignorant to everything? i mean if you're more and more intelligent, you know more stuff, and naturally, you will get cocky and turn people off. isn't it good to just don't know everything and just lead your own life? free and easy? so what if people are laughing at your stupidity, at least they are your friends. ignorance is bliss. and people who know too much are dangerous, especially when they have big mouths somemore.
whahah. i'm just dying to get my hands on the crumpler bag ! complete seed ! wahh!! its a hefty 170 bucks but oh heck, june! please come soon! xD
okayy i think i better go back to work. left with mrp to pia. and some other stuff here and there. =x another late night bahh. slept in ss lesson today, hahah ! so fun, whole class sleeping during recess. i think we're all burnt out.
i feel stupid. as though i'm now the only one playing this game, it feels like i gave so much but received nothing. i know im being over-sensitive here, but i can't help but frown. and i won't want to get in your way. you're busy. we're all busy. oh well, this will all be over soon, and happiness will come in again! and it's always you. just being silly. =D
/shiwei
[
3/27/2005
|3:57 PM]
Really Long Survey (over 200) |
Created by starsbleed2nite and taken 76353 times on bzoink! |
| What is your name? | Leong Shi Wei |
| Are you named after anyone? | i doubt so. ask my parents ? |
| What's your screename? | shiwei. i know i not creative. fine. but others call me tongkat ali ? shishi? xiaowei. =x |
| Would you name a child of yours after you? | there's no other perfect name like mine |
| If you were born a member of the opposite sex what would your name be? | si rui ! xP |
| If you could switch names with a friend who would it be? | i like my name the way it is (x |
| Are there any mispronounciations/typos that ppl do w/ your name constantly? | yes! shEwei ! |
| Would you drop your last name if you became famous? | no ? i am famous with my present name xP |
| Basics |
| Your gender: | MALE |
| Straight/Gay/Bi: | STRAIGHT definitely! |
| Single? | uh huh. |
| If not, do you want to be? | - |
| Birthdate: | 11 October 1990 |
| Your age: | 14 going on 15 |
| Age you act: | 14 (x |
| Age you wish you were: | 21 ! no national service please ! |
| Your height: | 176cm and still growing ! |
| Eye color: | black |
| Happy with it? | why not ? |
| Hair color: | black |
| Happy with it? | okay lar. im gonna dye when i grow up! |
| Lefty/righty/ambidextrous: | right. |
| Your living arrangement: | uh ? a one room flat in bedok. -sobs- |
| Your family: | my dad. my mum and my sis. |
| Have any pets? | yeahh. some fishes. i admit that i'm not responsible enough for dogs! |
| Whats your job? | student! must get good grades ! |
| Piercings? | nope! |
| Tattoos? | those temporary ones |
| Obsessions? | you. and SPONGEBOB |
| Addictions? | you. and SPONG |
| Do you speak another language? | malay ! xD |
| Have a favorite quote? | ok lorr. |
| Do you have a webpage? | used to. a blog now. |
| Deep Thoughts About Life and You in it |
| Do you live in the moment? | im still floating. |
| Do you consider yourself tolerant of others? | yeahh. although i blew up more often than before. i'm still a nice guy. |
| Do you have any secrets? | duh. who doesn't |
| Do you hate yourself? | yes. i hate myself for what i am now. |
| Do you like your handwriting? | its acceptable. but it can be improved |
| Do you have any bad habits? | yeahh. |
| What is the compliment you get from most people? | julian hee? =D nono. urmm u have good facial features! xP |
| If a movie was made about your life, what would it be called? | shiwei: the movie -.- |
| What's your biggest fear? | fear of losing her. |
| Can you sing? | YES. xD |
| Do you ever pretend to be someone else just to look cool? | yeahh. of course. |
| Are you a loner? | depends on who i am. but im a team player! or rather the slacker. |
| What are your #1 priorities in life? | hmm. slc, studies, ep3, council, you. |
| If you were another person, would you be friends with you? | yeahh i guess so. |
| Are you a daredevil? | no. i'm hum ji careful |
| Is there anything you fear or hate about yourself? | i hate the way i speak or rather stutter. |
| Are you passive or agressive? | passive at most times. but i have limits ! >.< |
| Do you have a journal? | online. |
| What is your greatest strength and weakness? | emotions. my greatest strength and weakness |
| If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? | THE WAY I SPEAK! |
| Do you think you are emotionally strong? | yes and no. i mean the two extremes whatt. |
| Is there anything you regret doing/not doing in life? | i regret taking smrp. |
| Do you think life has been good so far? | yes! c'mon, i have all four limbs working and i am happy most importantly! |
| What is the most important lesson you've learned from life? | don't hesitate. |
| What do you like the most about your body? | whahah. all fats? |
| And least? | all fats ! |
| Do you think you are good looking? | hell no. |
| Are you confident? | yes, but it gets shaken real easily |
| What is the fictional character you are most like? | n/a |
| Are you perceived wrongly? | yes as a bloody backstabber! -grrr- |
| Do You... |
| Smoke? | nope! |
| Do drugs? | nope! |
| Read the newspaper? | yeahh. |
| Pray? | no. |
| Go to church? | once! yesterday ! |
| Talk to strangers who IM you? | uhmm no. i obeserve internet safety ! xD |
| Sleep with stuffed animals? | no. |
| Take walks in the rain? | yeahh and then go home and get nagged at. next day down with cold. |
| Talk to people even though you hate them? | yeahh. i don't have a choice. |
| Drive? | no. but im okayy at driving games. |
| Like to drive fast? | yeahh! always crash out! |
| Would or Have You Ever? |
| Liked your voice? | somebody said it sounded gay over the radio! |
| Hurt yourself? | no. not suicidal. |
| Been out of the country? | yeahh. |
| Eaten something that made other people sick? | no. |
| Been in love? | yeah. |
| Done drugs? | nope. |
| Gone skinny dipping? | nope. |
| Had a medical emergency? | nope. i was warded before though |
| Had surgery? | nope. but a cast yes. my broken collar bone |
| Ran away from home? | nope. guai hai zi xD |
| Played strip poker? | nope |
| Gotten beaten up? | yeahh. -stares at the neoprint- |
| Beaten someone up? | hahha yeahh and im sorry! |
| Been picked on? | of course! im always picked on! cause im too nice a guy. |
| Been on stage? | yeahh. for os address and sbc and aphelion night and investiture and little bits here and there. |
| Slept outdoors? | yeahh duhh. |
| Thought about suicide? | no. |
| Pulled an all nighter? | yeah. i didn sleep the day before my chinese eoy. in the end mental breakdown. b4 >_< |
| If yes, what is your record? | uh. |
| Gone one day without food? | no! i don't torture myself this way! |
| Talked on the phone all night? | nope. |
| Slept together with the opposite sex w/o actually having sex? | my mom when i was smaller i guess. |
| Slept all day? | no. im no pig. |
| Killed someone? | yes. in my dreams. |
| Made out with a stranger? | no ! not even with someone i know. |
| Had sex with a stranger? | hell no |
| Thought you're going crazy? | YES |
| Kissed the same sex? | no. |
| Done anything sexual with the same sex? | no. |
| Been betrayed? | YEAHH and im smart not to reveal anything nowadays. |
| Had a dream that came true? | yes. |
| Broken the law? | duhh. jaywalking xD |
| Met a famous person? | those mps u mean ? |
| Have you ever killed an animal by accident? | ants ? |
| On purpose? | yeah ants ! |
| Told a secret you swore you wouldn't tell? | yes. yes. and im still guilty |
| Stolen anything? | yes. |
| Been on radio/tv? | yes ! whahah. tongkat ali ad. |
| Been in a mosh-pit? | nope. |
| Had a nervous breakdown? | yes! ^scroll up! |
| Bungee jumped? | no. |
| Had a dream that kept coming back? | urhh nope. |
| Beliefs |
| Belive in life on other planets? | yeahh. martians and stuff. ET |
| Miracles? | yeah. when u believe ! |
| Astrology? | uh huh! its a subject! |
| Magic? | no. so many people spoiling all the fun. |
| God? | urmm yahh. but still free-thinker. there must be a leader for everything. |
| Satan? | nope. southpark xD |
| Santa? | don't think so. it doesn't even snow! |
| Ghosts? | yes !! >.< |
| Luck? | yeahh! |
| Love at first sight? | maybe. |
| Yin and yang (that good cant exist w/o bad)? | im a daoist so yes. xD DAO-ist |
| Witches? | no. unless its a girl sceaming. |
| Easter bunny? | no. |
| Believe its possible to remain faithful forever? | yeah and im gonna do that. |
| Believe theres a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow? | duh no. |
| Do you wish on stars? | nope. |
| Deep Theological Questions |
| Do you believe in the traditional view of Heaven and Hell? | yes. it seems every ancient civilization has this. so why not? |
| Do you think God has a gender? | i thought males are always superior ? xP |
| Do you believe in organized religion? | yeahh. |
| Where do you think we go when we die? | heaven or hell. |
| Friends |
| Do you have any gay/lesbian friends? | yes. -looks at sean- |
| Who is your best friend? | yuan chang i guess. |
| Who's the one person that knows most about you? | still yuan chang |
| What's the best advice that anyone has ever given to you? | farrica. |
| Your favourite inside joke? | red boy. and im not laughing |
| Thing you're picked on most about? | chang ge lor. =x |
| Who's your longest known friend? | yi kai. believe it or not. |
| Newest? | the guy whom i shook hands with at church xD |
| Shyest? | woankeng, chiajone, yinghao |
| Funniest? | douglas, yuanchang (and COLD as well) |
| Sweetest? | got to be yinghao. he's also very sentimental. |
| Closest? | yuan chang. i tell him a lot, ok more than others. |
| Weirdest? | hmms. |
| Smartest? | hun sheng! zhi yi! but i think it has to be ming wei. |
| Ditziest? | ting feng? |
| Friends you miss being close to the most? | kangjie. sean. chiajone. woankeng. yuanchang. douglas. zhiguang |
| Last person you talked to online? | xinying, fanny and songping. |
| Who do you talk to most online? | i dunno. changes all the time. |
| Who are you on the phone with most? | the section i/cs |
| Who do you trust most? | myself. |
| Who listens to your problems? | myself again. |
| Who do you fight most with? | lol xuan yi i guess. |
| Who's the nicest? | myself xD |
| Who's the most outgoing? | sean ! |
| Who's the best singer? | yuanchang, maybe cause the rest don't sing. |
| Who's on your shit-list? | shit. |
| Have you ever thought of having sex with a friend? | no! im still innocent and dan chun! |
| Who's your second family? | ... |
| Do you always feel understood? | no. its a good thing too.. i think |
| Who's the loudest friend? | yu guang. |
| Do you trust others easily? | yes. but im smarter now. |
| Who's house were you last at? | mine. |
| Name one person who's arms you feel safe in: | hurhur yuanchang. andd i know my shoulder's the best. |
| Do your friends know you? | layer 1. yes. |
| Friend that lives farthest away: | |
| Love and All That |
| Do you consider love a mistake? | no. its a blessing to love and be loved. |
| What do you find romantic? | u cant define romantic, otherwise it won't be romantic |
| Turn-on? | height. |
| Turn-off? | armpit hair xDD |
| First kiss? | parents i guess |
| If someone u had no interest in had interest in dating u how would u feel? | hmm dating wouldn be a good word. ill get more people i suppose. |
| Do you prefer knowing someone before dating them or going | half-half |
| Have u ever wished it was more socially acceptable 4 a girl 2 ask a guy out | urmm i guess. |
| Have you ever been romantically attracted to someone physically unattractiv | yeahh. |
| Do you think the opposite sex finds you good looking? | hell no. |
| What is best about the opposite sex? | elegance. |
| What is the worst thing about the opposite sex? | bimbotic. xP |
| What's the last present someone gave you? | ermm the cards from stnicks. |
| Are you in love? | yes. deeply. |
| Do you consider your significant other hot? | uh huh |
| Who Was the Last Person... |
| That haunted you? | the ghost from eye 10. |
| You wanted to kill? | red boy. |
| That you laughed at? | her |
| That laughed at you? | her |
| That turned you on? | im off. |
| You went shopping with? | her |
| That broke your heart? | hmm. |
| To disappoint you? | yuan chang cause his appointment didn turn out right. |
| To ask you out? | urmm clarence for church |
| To make you cry? | ruoen and songping |
| To brighten up your day? | her |
| That you thought about? | her |
| You saw a movie with? | her again. |
| You talked to on the phone? | i called xianghui but she off her mobile. so guess its zhiyi. |
| You talked to through IM/ICQ? | songping |
| You saw? | my dad, he's telling me that we're going out for dinner. |
| You lost? | - |
| Right This Moment... |
| Are you going out? | for dinner later |
| Will it be with your significant other? | no. |
| Or some random person? | MY FAMILY LARH. |
| What are you wearing right now? | 2d class tee. board shorts |
| Body part you're touching right now: | my lips. the bruise lar. |
| What are you worried about right now? | homework i guess |
| What book are you reading? | flowers for algernon |
| What's on your mousepad? | no mousepad.using touchpad |
| Use 5 words to describe how you're feeling: | must-finish-all-my-homework |
| Are you bored? | yes. |
| Are you tired? | yes. |
| Are you talking to anyone online? | yeahh. hurhur. |
| Are you talking to anyone on the phone? | nope. |
| Are you lonely or content? | contented but lonely. |
| Are you listening to music? | yeahh. ryan cabrera's true |
Create a Survey | Search Surveys | Go to bzoink! |
hahah okayy homework!
wake xianghuui up somebody!!
/shiwei
[
3/26/2005
|11:53 PM]
[ Current Mood | over the moon ]
[ Current Music | Ronan Keating - Lovin' Each Day ]
Avril Lavigne - Spongebob Squarepants Theme Song
Are you ready kids
Aye aye captain
I can't hear you
Aye aye captain
Ohhhh Who lives in a pinapple under the sea?
SpongeBob SquarePants!
Absorbent and yellow and porus is he!
SpongeBob SquarePants!
If notical nonsense be something you wish
SpongeBob SquarePants!
Then drop on the deck and flop like a fish!
SpongeBob SquarePants!
SpongeBob SquarePants!
SpongeBob SquarePants!
SpongeBob SquarePants!
Sponge-Bob Square-Pants!
wahhh! addicted to spongebob liao ! gotta have my hands on the t-shirt we saw at plaza sing!ahh. a little bit of comedy. a little bit of animation. plus lots and lots of LAME jokes and you get a terrific movie !
woke up at 6 today and went to the jap association for some function in council u. was pretty boring but all in all i learnt quite a lot. time to time, as i turned around, people will be sleeping! heh. and i was guilty of dozing off too ! the buffet lunch was nice ! really authentic !
then i went kap to finish off my homework. in the end, i did nothingg. GRR and we were late for easter service. lift door opened and we saw one ktv! shockedd at the uluness ! oh well, at least we missed the concert part! it was like a disco larr ! so high, hhaha then the skit! not badd, i like hk student! im studying hard AR. xD then it was the sermons and stuff. it was really an eye-opener for us, but i guess free-thinking is still the best!
then we went plaza sing to get tickets. but eye 10 is FULL HOUSE. arghh so we settled on spongebob and we didn regret! xD
okayy homework time !!
(: 26th march 2005 - don't forget this date.
you made me my heart skip a beat or two just now;
/shiwei
[
3/25/2005
|10:32 PM]
[ Current Mood | zibei ]
[ Current Music | Cyndi Wang - Honey ]
okayy while i was happily blog-jumping yesterday. someone started a conversation with me and started to ask thought-provoking questions, i told her i would answer them here. so yarh. (:
1) do you have a meaning in life?
well. i admit that i'm not far-sighted, i don't think far. just like when i decided to take smrp, and i'm really regretting it now. humanities programme.. argh. ok that's besides the point. frankly speaking, i don't knoww what i am going to be when i grow up, i guess i'm the sort of takes things as they come ? oh well. i guess that's what that makes me people insecure. but i'll find my interest! soon.
well i guess for the whole of last term and this week, i have been floating. seriously floating, every day, i'll just reach school at 6.45, sit and stare into space, then go around copying homework. then i'll just drag through lessons, then dismissal, i'll just go home and this cycle carries on and on friday i go for ncc. my commitments are all in a mess right now, and i don't know what to do with them. yida asked me last night, "so what are u going to do with your life?" and i just paused there. hah. i'll go think about it. the only thing thats driving me along is her, that's all i have to say.
2)are you trustable?
well. i hate this type of questions larr, especially when its on yourself. okayy, first things first, i'm human, i make mistakes, i'm not perfect. and i cannot guarantee 100% for everything.
and through the years, i've gained some people's trust with much ease, but the more memorable ones are those that i have to work inch for inch for it. and on many occasions, because of a silly mistake, i lost the trust and it just goes back to square one. and i remember myself crying because of that one person. i know how difficult it is. hmm so am i trustable?
trust it or not lo.
pissed off now. DON'T LET ME GO, AND I DON'T SEE THE REASON WHY. is being emotional wrong? is using emotions to deal problems wrong? look, emotions do not cloud my vision, i'm perfectly fine. don'tt like it? well that's the way i am! orientation was organized by my emotions, my passion towards the event, the ot's hard work and co-operation. aren't these emotions? its so ironic, isn't feeling passionate for something a passion ? oh well. don't go don't go lor. I DON'T GO THERE TO BUAYA anyway. whatever las.
to farrica: don't be angry please ?
/shiwei
[
3/24/2005
|10:20 PM]
[ Current Mood | =/ ]
[ Current Music | Jay Chou - Qing Tian ]
Which Incredibles Character Are You? brought to you by Quizillahahah mr incredible. there's no jack jack !! whaaa. but i don't quite like the description. it seems so arrogant. =x
hahah okayy am really glad that quite a number of people appoached me to tell me to cheer up and said we're both on the same boat. hahah i hope after this entry, don't find me serious or whatsoever, cause i'm still the shiwei you've known since the day u knew me! -.- well i'm sure everybody has their inner selfs, their true feelings and of course they hide them, but well i didn mean mine in that sense, of course you cannot tell every single thing on earth that u feel to a friend ! but i don't mean it that way, argh it's so hard to explain. well hope u get what i mean.
school was draggy and sleepy as usual. the only lesson that perked me up was mr lam's, i think he seriously rocks lar. so dan chun and cute! (: -drools- he's really animated and i think he's the best physics teacher ever! the later part of the afternoon was uber sian. comprehension and a zuo wen. i dozed off while doing the comprehension halfway! gahh!
okayy back to reflections.
[to be continued. okayy anti-climax i knoww. im preparing to write a loong essay xD]
/shiwei
[
3/23/2005
|12:03 AM]
[ Current Mood | f.cked up ]
[ Current Music | Avril Lavigne - My Happy Ending ]
so many problems, but nobody to turn to. i've reached the limit, i'm about to break down. and i was talking to some people about accomplishment in life. if you think about it, how many people out there can proudly say that he or she has accomplished what he wanted and aimed for and even if god takes away his life, he would die without regrets? it would be one out of a hundred ? hahah. okayy back to the point.
i said earlier it was pathetic having nobody to confide in when i have problems, and i'll just tell everyone what went wrong. the problem lies with me okayy, i refuse to just let some trust go and share with other people what went wrong, and end up bottling up everything. so yuanchang convinced me to change, and i knew i had to, because i know alot of people who cared about me and wanted to know more got turned off because i just simply refuse to share anything, and in the end they were the ones who told me all their problems, their sorrows. so i changed my nickname to "who would remove the mask i had worn all along" and i waited. hahah two people responded and i was relieved.
especially you. well so i came up with a conclusion, there are three layers of shiwei.
the first layer, also known as the outer-most layer, is where i believe most people see, where u see a boy who seems to be happy everyday, coming to school for lessons, rushing down to the canteen during recess, gaying around with the gang, and for some of you, an egoistic pig xD that keeps saying that hes shuai or whatsoever, and keeps niaoing you, yah yah and the pink pigg. this is the most superficial layer, where his true feelings about things are hidden from all. when faced with problems, he appears still to be smiling although his heart within is breaking.
the second layer, is where he starts to show and reveal what he feels. once you get into this layer, you will find him talking to you at every available opportunity. you find that the shiwei you knew back then is totally different from the present shiwei. you will find that his life isn't that perfect as you thought that it was, and you will then find yourself helping to solve his problems instead. he will tell you almost everything that happened to him on earth, from his studies, to the love of his life.
and the third layer, the inner-most layer. if you reach this layer, you can almost guess how shiwei will react or do when faced with a certain situation and soon you will be able to even give him advice, and influence each other. here you will even find out his darkest secrets, the first crush of his life, whether he cheated during the exams etc.
hahah. i promise i will open up!
looking forward to this friday/saturday! cause its with you where i belong.
/shiwei
[
3/21/2005
|10:06 PM]
term 2 was kickstarted with founders' day which coincidentally coincides -.- with the first day of school, so there were no lessons ! yayy. hahah okayy during the wee hours, was niaoing the peeps about their holiday homework, everyone was rushing through them (: hahah so fun plus doing a STUPID online treasure hunt which i completed okayy! arghh though i waited for NOTHING, but it was still memorable, which other guy would do this lah. xP
woke up at 7, felt really happy and immediately tried to make songping and xianghui CRY by describing the times when we were at stnicks. the all-so-familiar terraces, flag raising ceremony, the act-deep voice of the commander, the school song and the morning prayers. blehh okayy shall not talk about it. hahah i also niaoed farrica and co. during lessons !
so blehh founders day finally ended, went to settle the srmp and projects dayy. finally another problem solved! so went off happily for self-training. 25 pull ups, ermm 40 diamond, 10 one-hand then we went to the track to run. then came chia jone who was -bleagh- thrashing us larr. but our emphasis was on part spirit, so we cheered and we sang along the way. partC. (:
okayy shan't talk too much. dead beat. haiz to lessons tommorrow..
/shiwei
[
3/20/2005
|9:29 AM]
[ Current Mood | peaceful? ]
[ Current Music | Maroon 5 - Sunday Morning ]
ah. sunday morning.
really have nothing to do. the movie's cancelled. of course im feeling a little sad, but heck, it's not as if after today, there's no more chance or whatever. everybody has their own problems, and it's best to solve them first before any progression takes place. it won't do any good. ahh problems, conflicts, i bottle them all. who could be my listening ear? nobody, just nobody at all. it's such a pity, its so pathetic, or maybe it's just me wondering too much, not trusting anybody. i was cheated once, once i told my friend all i knew, all i felt, and the next day the whole world found out. but i couldn do anything, i couldn blame him, i could only blame myself for being naive and foolish. now i stand here again in this situation, with nobody to turn to, ahh i guess it's best to bottle up everything.
yesterday was the day where everything went wrong. cnc test, i got off to a good start, with that little bit of pep talk, ".. give me good drill, show me good standard, and i assure you everything will be over soon. CLEAR?" then i screwed everything up. the comments were there, but the control was crap, and not to mention sizing command. always went too fast at the "nombor ganjil satu langkah kahadapan, nombor genap satu langkah kebelangkan? " part. the cadets were in a row, and everyone was laughing. at me. even sir joshua too. ahh i suck. but im glad it's all over, we all passed.
later came the punishments. 120 pushups, but 80 completed. and its like every frustration the ncos had was vent on us. from attendance, to attiude, to mdm.chao and ME. ME ME ME. i thought they wouldn bring that issue up again. i knew where i went wrong, wrong place of priorities again. st.nicks over training is WRONG. okay i accept that, and i will change, and i have CHANGED. but lujie still brought it up anyway, and boom i was angry as well. after training ended, i had a debrief with part C. overwhelmed with emotions, ok anger, so i wasn in the right state of mind. all i needed was a spark that would trigger the explosives in my head, and there it was, yiyuan's comment, then i BLASTED him, then xuanyi's comment, i PUNCHED him. huijie held me back, i felt like a wild beast, in front of everyone, i was humiliated. my composure was lost, my respect was lost. all there i stand, the guy they called the ic, fallen in front of everyone.
but do not look back, for i won't. cause the next term is all that matters. give it your best and you will succeed, begin to slacken and there's your downfall. partC 2005 team, we can do it.
and here i am typing this entry, my blog, the one of few avenues to vent my angers, my sorrow, my thoughts. so pardon if i type anything that is sensitive or critical to anybody or anything, cause you know i cannot do it verbally. i'm such a coward, i'm such a sore. is this how i man should be like? to express his true self on the net, but in real life, wear this mask that hides all. i wonder
/shiwei
[
3/18/2005
|6:51 PM]
[ Current Mood | DEAD BEAT (isn't a mood?) ]
[ Current Music | Maroon 5 - Through With You ]
TIRED.
slept for like 3 hours today ! the girls are surely nocturnal can !
O_O panda eyes and a SORE THROAT.
i think i used the wrong part for my commands in yesterday's training. and like all other times, i screwed my cnc. sizing drill was given in a hurry, little comments. arghh i think i'll fail the actual test on saturday. >_<
anyway today met up with programmes committee and went for liaisons with the companies, all wemt smoothly ! and im proud to say prog comm has full attendance and we're working fine! under the superb leadership of the programmes i/c which is yours truly! whahah. of course. im better than seng ! (: hope he doesn read this. 11th slc shall not fall.
woots. ended up in orchard after the meetings. so we went wheelocks to look at the crumpler bags! <3 <3 i want i want! so im gna get it, before ermm june! will start saving now! $149. woots- then we went to the apple shop, my heart so gek! the ipod accessories all so cool and sleek, really having second thoughts of getting a zen micro. SOMEMORE THE PRICE DROPPED LIKE SHIT. even the 6gb's cheaper than what i bought mine for. so much for creative. REGRETS.
ahh so fast. holidays coming to an end. get ready for a roller-coaster ride in term 2.
OH YAHH. watch you're the one tonight! LAST EPISODE
/shiwei
[|2:19 AM]
its the end. is it?
whahah. had stnicks-hci gathering at cine, we watched HITCH.
not badd the showw. especially the 90% and 10% parts! woots- gonna try all that tips and tricks. (: ahh i was the latest to arrive and made the whole grp wait outself the theatre. sorry ! i was stuck at bugis, because of the PINK SHIRT. was plain rushing, after training, was rushing home. brrr. YOU TWO. CAUSED ME TO SKIP TWO MEALS. stupid. so i changed at somerset mrt, there i was in pink. -embarrassed.
and the sad point of HITCH wasn't sad enough ! at least not enough for the two beside me to cry. i was like "ehh. cry lehh!" and i didn kick you on purpose lo. hah. luckily, we didn take neoprints ! (x
then we decided to go esplanade. then the truth started unfolding itself, if you sensed anything, i was getting anti-social. and my face went red and qian bian, and started to scold and curse. arghh only a few know why. i feel sad and sorry, at the same time, enlightened and relieved i didn fall into the trap.
oh well, we wandered around marina square, figuring how to get to the other side to the food loft, in the end we came to burger king and long john so we got takeaways and went to esplanade to eat. so much for qing diao, hurhur. so gradually, the big group went under the bridge to play truth or dare. leaving woankeng, chiajone, yuanchang, xianghui, ruoen, songping, yinghao and me sitting there. and we chatted, then we sang, and we took photos ! it was really sentimental and emotional lahh, basically. yeah and im glad xianghui came down although she's not supposed to!
then we figured we were being anti-social so we went over to form the bigger circle. but it wasn't long till we had to leave, oh well, i didn't want to be there too, i couldn't be myself. so chiajone, woankeng, yinghao, yuanchang, xianghui, ruoen, songping and i left. the girls took the mrt and we took the bus, so we said our final goodbyes and left. hahah on the bus, yuan chang and i sure enlightened woankeng and yinghao. woots- yuan chang we rock. and i sure known you better and i think it rocks more when you're now moving to a place so close to me now. geee i feel gay. anyway phone inbox got spammed by ruoen and songping and i think they cried after all! yay ! primary objective achieved ! but i didn see it! >_<
yesyes. we WILL meet again. it's definitely not the end. yuguang said he will organize a bbq in june right? yeahh ! hahahh and next color is ORANGE. yayy. no red and black ! no pink !
okayy. friendships forged and BROKEN.
/shiwei
[
3/16/2005
|10:13 PM]
I NEED A PINK SHIRT. PLEASE HELP
whahah. tmr's the outing le and suddenly i hate my idea of standardizing the color of the shirts the gang's gonna wear. cause its PINK. so explains ^ well hmm lets be a good sport, tmr after training, ill pia home and go get the shirt! but the thing is $$.. arghh 5 movies this week can. die lo die lo. and the two of them DID help alot hah, putting it all over their nicknames. im gna get LAUGHED at tmr, where can i bury my head in when school reopens ! arghh.
but a promise is a promise, won't back out. since its the last time le xD
ok this italics part is for you ! (: don't think too much larr, though i know sometimes its real hard not to do so, but pleased be reassured, the things i wrote on the card are still valid till today, and it will be forever.
/shiwei
[|1:41 AM]
so in love with emily browning (x. btw she plays violet baudelaire in series of unfortuante events !
whahah. okayy we had our 3a class gathering ! WOOSH. we went cine for a movie, attendance was great ! 23 people, and douglas really did a great job as a chairman this time round to co-ordinate. unfortunate was cool ! but it was really dark and sinister. -shivers HAHAH and yuan chang and chiajone leapt out of their seats when the red viper suddenly appeared, not to mention yuan chang grabbing my hand and covering his eyes ! i suddenly feel very brave, don't i. and high 5 to chiajone who also agreed violet was chio, my heart broke when she signed the marriage agreement with that count olaf freek ! hmms. then after the movie, we went round in circles trying to find a place that has good but cheap food. and we ended up in marche, not the best of choice but oh well for the class ! everyone were like stupid idiots, cause most of us first time, and we really uhmm throwed our faces on the floor. then time for bye bye, douglas with his stupid reasons for rejecting to send yuanchang, woankeng and i home.. so we were lost and stuck at orchard. so we agreed to take a cab back to hwachong then take 171. smart us.
to woankeng: the moment i set my eyes on you, i knew you were mine. wahah. cute and innocent, we were synchronising the colours of our attire, he said he'd be wearing a dark blue top, dark green shorts plus white .. erhm. so well i didn have a dark blue top that was presentable so i settled on dark green instead. (x sean was being uber gay too ! and kangjie was black-red ! woots.
i hope after this class gathering, 3a will rise up to the occasion. best class in aphelion sec 3s. and clock tower here we come. believe in -coughs- douglas, believe in 3a.
okayy replying to tagboard from friendfromncc, which i think its zhiyi. yes i knoww. one more term left and i am still floating around life, with no directions, no aim. what kind of a leader am i. don't worry, i did a little soul-searching, well i guess i cannot push the blame to anyone, all i can say is just a little screw-up in prioritizing at the beginning of the year. but i'm glad i don't have so many commitments as compared to last year, so i'm able to focus and give more to ncc, oh so much said, but nothing done. your i/c has woken up, trust me, let this last chapter of partC be the best ever. give me your support and i'm sure we can pull this through together.
and yes for slc too. i cant believe im being compared to seng che hao xD oh well, i won't like go argue, cause in the end i will still win. but is there pride and glory in winning seng xP ? i guess not, but to my committee, good job so far, keep up the enthusiasm, especially from rgs and rv ! kristin, choonyen and jinliang. and for hci side, lets continue to deliver what we're expected to, NO, deliver more, stretch our capabilities, and make 11slc the best ever before we step down. and no, no more feeling emotional and stuff, im back. -determined face.
ahhh! ok LOH i ran back home and all i got was a "oh." win liao larhh, let the 3 of us cry together on thursday while watching a comedy, heheh,
and then that will be the end.
/shiwei
[
3/14/2005
|10:01 PM]
hmm. i haven't touched my school uniform for a week, feels kinda weird actually wearing it. anyway i went back to school with yinghao, zhiguang etc. to get our term-progress report card. hahah, i was like so dao, met yinghao on the bus, said hi and boom i closed my eyes and slept all the way. can't blame me. all of them are like nocturnal can ! it's like so frustrating to see them all so energetic at 2am when you yourself are like having bloodshot eyes and can't wait to say gtg good night. and its worse when you're bored in the morning or afternoon and NONE are online. it's so strange ! hahah i feel loved ! wei xD
humans. from strangers to good friends, i feel that the link here is relationship. so many people walk in and out of our lives, day in day out, yet we don't feel anything. but some of them come in and establish relationships with you, that's why when they walk out, you will feel that tinge of misery. it's really funny. all good things have to come to an end, i think this is really a joke lar. oh well, like xslc, we all have to get over it and continue with our lives. hah and i think i can't even make it on thurs. so i think i may never get to see you guys again. eventually i'll forget how you guys look like, and the relationship bond gets weaker and we'll feel nothing. relationships, so sweet yet so painful.
oh well, don't be sad cause it ended, be happy cause it happened (:
had concept research todayy. not bad larr. come on 11th slc ot, we will prove to the seniors ! x) and success for tomorrow's class gathering. alright !
i threw the chocolates awayy. forget about what i feel, it doesn't matter
/shiwei
[
3/13/2005
|11:12 PM]
woots the weekends passed so fast nowadays and its the march holidays, one-quarter of the term has passed. but i don't like the holidays, i personally don't mind if i spend another one week in st.nicks, or two weeks, or forever, except the part that i have to go for a gender change. ah after two days after the end, ive collated a list of factors that gauge whether ure having withdrawal symptoms of the exchange programme.
1. waking up in the morning and wondering why you aren't in ang mo kio, dressed in council u. [especially on saturday morning, i woke up at 9am, and felt really strange, almost went to take out the council u from my wardrobe before being stopped by my mum]
2. the st.nicks school song is like looping in your head and you can't seem to shake it off you. [blehh even if i blast some hard metal song, it won't go away]
3. looking at the pictures and gifts almost every now and then. [come on, not that there are shuai ges or chio bus in the photos, or gold.]
4. ordering teh tarik when you are having your meals outside [hehh, the uncle's teh tarik's still the best]
5. lastly, u can't concentrate in whatever you do and relate almost everything to st.nicks! [grr, malu, don't want to talk about it]
well i'm sure there're more, share it with us (: and bon voyage xianghui. -crosses finger with you
i won't create anymore trouble, i just need time to erase everything.
/shiwei
[
3/12/2005
|2:09 AM]
group. =x
/shiwei
[|2:08 AM]
3a buddies and girls.
/shiwei
[|1:36 AM]
the end. it has ended. oh well.
for
/shiwei
[
3/11/2005
|12:32 AM]
[ Current Mood | nostalgic ]
[ Current Music | Ryan Cabrera - True ]
arghh. hands are tired. right leg still aching. stupid laa, still writing those cards. i missed 2 episodes of you're the one because of shopping for presents! well, i hope it's worth it man. yuguang, zhi guang, chia jone and i went to orchard after the smops meeting to get the presents, and just now, yu guang and i went causeway point to get the remaining presents.. really burnt a hole. especially's ruo'ens ahh! =x
time really flies man. fourth day over since the 12 of us came over to st.nics for part 2 of the exchange programme. i still remember the whole gang wanted to boycott this programme, and all 12 of us are hoping time will pass real slowly throughout the next 2 days. so allow me to bring you back to where it all began..
first day was pretty slack. OH i was late and desperate and took a cab to sngs! grrr i was like to the wrong direction, i ended up in jurong east instead ! i took the train back, and by the time i was at woodlands, it was 6.55! so i alighted and desperately took a cab. not finished! the taxi driver drove me to cat high instead! and he turned and looked at me "ni bu shi nan de?" i was like "wth u wanna ask so much? just send me to stnicks!" and ran to terraces on time !
we ponned lessons all the way till after recess. school tour was pretty lame in the end. we were brought round the school [duh], and i feel really confused with all those stairs and really strange pathways! and we got freaked out by the gym. it's like the gym in every school has their ghost story, but the gym at st.nicks really freakedd me out. it was like the odd one out among the school color. suddenly your whole vision darkens, as if u the sun is being blockedd by the clouds, then u see a wall full of mirrors! then on your right is some catholic painting that reminds me of davinci code and to your left is the gym entrance. and yahh! st.nicks have so many mirrors around lar! and its like going to be so scary at night, suddenly u see your own reflection at every corner u turn. -hairs stand.
and then it was fund raising! the classes were sellin cotton candy, ice cocktail etc. which i think should be encouraged in hwachong too. arghh so the faith people were competing with the diligence people, so we tried to draw crowds and stuff with all those cheers and dance. blehh. ahh im gna skip. lessons were rather okayy. the chi teacher, we realize, was a complete duplicate of joseph sim, except that one is hao se, the other is shuai ge. brr. and the bio teacher freaks me out ! ms leong somemore, was really a comedian. after her lesson, she asked, "okayy class now it is the qna session, any question?" then almost immediately,"okay no questions,i got some questions to ask u." was like o.O after school, we played soccer and basketball with the girls. blehh and i injured again laa, but i do not need the st.john's help !
okayy second day, was plain old boring lessons. and we could memorize the time-table already ! we're all enthusiastic students! flag-raising was really cool, especially the slang of the commands, really turns me on ! =x and yuan chang was really getting famous in chinese lesson. teacher asks = yuan chang answers. there wasn't afternoon activity cause we had to rush back for mr hon's meeting about HATs that lasted shorter than the journey back.
third day, really nothing muchh. except for a morning jog which was claimed to be no sweat. =P then lessons. afternoon was stupid smops meeting with ms.siew, grrr. then we went orchard to get presents for the girls.. and i did the most diu lian-ing thing in my entire life, neoprints. and NO i'm not going to let anyone see ! 4 da nan ren in council u. freaks me out.
finally today. whoa! what is xiao shun? how to write xiao. lao zi de tou, jia yi ge heng, jia yi ge zi. then what must appreciate the da huan jing, must learn to talk to the kong ques ! no wonder they've all turned gay. maths was uber cheem, logarithms which i haven learnt, and throughout the lesson, i was copying farrica's and huiqing's answers! then i received a sms telling me that ms.seng wants to cancel slc, my whole heart sank. there was a talk by jack neo on how to be gao xiao, but i wasn't laughing at the jokes he cracked, my heart was aching. i really much wanted to cry laa, then i thought about xslc and stuff, and yupp later i told myself that i shud be a good guest and just have fun this week. BUT IN THE ENd IT WAS NOT CANCELLED, SOMEBODY KICKED UP A BIG FUSS.
and yahh afternoon was soccer with the teachers! i scored one from a volley, pwns. then the disaster came, one by one, our people got injured, chia jone got a big wound, zhiguang got kicked on the head, and i got elbowed and my ankle again!! =x notice the trend? chiajone, zhiguang, shiwei.. 3/4 who took the.. and ruo'en so luo suo can. lemme play lar! okayy not going to say what happened after i went back on, so embarrassing. then me and yuguang went causeway pt to get the remaining presents.
so this two weeks passed real fast, and it was reallly tiring, waking up earlier than usual, cause transport wasn't convenient, and going home late because of activites. but i know nobody's regretting, cause it's all worth it, let's hope for a nice last day!
/shiwei
